if words and songs brought up those memories.
i rather erase the bleakness and only think of the good times we shared.

if i could change the pain i felt from envy.
i would.

if i could count my blessings
i would

if i could pretend not having you around does not hurt
i would

if i could decide on life's choices without wanting your advice.
i would.

if i could extend the happy conversations we had
i would

if i could take more pictures with you in the past
i would

if i could work with you
i would.


now.i can work hard to prove i am worth your time and effort
i can make my own decisions alone.
i can grow up alone
i can live alone
i can work alone
i can be part of you,alone.

right?