the clock

the hands on my watch face seem to be moving in a blur
sometimes i wonder if my watch is faulty
other times i wonder if i had set it a day in advance.

i really want to find out what is that nagging feeling at the back of my mind.

so can you please stop confusing habit with love.
it may just be a random thought of yours while you dance around with loneliness, but it affects me and you know it.

while you have your dalliances with the narcissist you, please leave me out of the equation. i am not a prop or stand in actress in your play.as much as i am in your life.as much as i love you as a friend.

my energy for these childish acts of haphazard "inspirited" feelings you generate while reading novels or watching movies or seeing your friends in love, has been all used up.i'm sorry, but please get more creative in expressing your inner lonliness this method has already been used by many.i'm sick of it.you are already being an irritant.something i want to erase but i can't cause of our friendship.

move on and fuck off
stop making me use my precious supplies of panadols and yellow tabs.uni melb has already fulfilled that job.

school work.is .................the fuel for procrastination.
and my mind being the main generator.
i'm screwed over.
but still crawling my way out of the gunk

i miss having dad and bro around.
for them to nag and pamper me in their gruff ways
for them to order me around to do errands.

now
i feel so alone in the mountains of work
i have no one to rest on.
all i can do.
is to rest my uncertainty with the never ending list of work